Wow. Celebrity Duets. Just wow.
I feel very unclean after having watched about 40 minutes of that trainwreck.
The Sebastian Bach news is very disappointing...he's going out on tour in October with "Guns and Roses". Eww. If someone gave me tickets so I could go and hear Sebastian sing "I Remember You" and then leave before "Guns and Roses" took the stage, I might consider it. I won't be paying for it, that's for sure.

Assuming this tour even comes to Pittsburgh, which isn't really all that likely.

It was nice to see Sebastian shreiking "18 and Life", and his hair was gorgeous. As was his velvet jacket. And he got out a "dude" to the emcee, which was satisfying. Luckily he didn't say anything directly to Marie Osmond (who, by the way, referred to herself as "a chocolate girl" when the guy from The Fresh Prince came down off the stage to hug her. Ewww.)

I am going to assume that this show, like Dancing with the Stars, is supposed to be somewhat meta/ironic/postmodern. Cuz there is no way that these people can be taking themselves seriously. And it's really a shame to trot Little Richard out like that. Seriously. Eww.

Heart Shaped Hedges, Japanese Gardens....


Oh! I got The Swing in the mail today, and I had completely forgotten about this awesome song "Johnson's Aeroplane." It's about farming. It's an awesome song all around, and so NEW WAVE. Which was reassuring, because I said something about wanting to hear INXS at my new wave cabaret birthday party this coming January(foreshadowing!!!) and rebby said "were they really new wave?" And I said, "Of COURSE they were new wave!" but then I had the shadow of a doubt. That song really seals it though. Not to mention all of Shaboo Shoobah, which I haven't gotten in the mail yet, but is definitely new wave. No question. So when I get the details worked out, and start inviting people to play at my new wave birthday cabaret(foreshadowing again!!!), I can make the following requests: INXS, Love and Rockets, and Depeche Mode. I really don't think anyone has played songs by any of these three seminal new wavesters at any of the previous NWCs, and it's time that changed. Especially this year.
I had a long and productive day at the restaurant...most of it involved in getting a catering order ready for pick up tomorrow morning. I also made my almost famous loaded baked potato soup, for which I got lots of yummy noises from the people sitting at the counter. That's always nice. The great thing about the loaded baked potato soup, as well as the almost famous roasted potato salad, and the very popular curried peanut noodle salad I made for a lunch special yesterday, is they were all invented in order to use things up. The soup and the potato salad were both born out of an overabundance of leftover brunch potatoes. The noodle salad came about when I couldn't fit all the curried peanut dip I made for the catering job into the containers. I love it when great things come from efforts to tidy up the pantry!
Speaking of tidying up the pantry, I am right now smelling the delicious smell of my peach cobbler wafting from the oven. It's so cinnamony. I was sad that I didn't have any more cookies after the delicious burgers and tomato salad I had for dinner, but then I noticed that my peaches were getting a little too squishy to eat out of hand. Voila! Hot baked yummy dessert! Unfortunately, I had to make it in half of my long casserole dish because I loaned my small cobbler-sized casserole dish to rebby for the cabbage rolls. No biggie. It seems to be fine, just a little lopsided. But no one will ever know, because it's MINE! Ha!
Today I was apprised of a gothic bellydance happening at the Frick fine Arts Auditorium on Saturday night. The lovely
Tempest will be performing. Oooh! I still haven't ordered her video, but this will be even better!

Unhappy is she who eats her last chocolate chip cookie for breakfast! Well, I can always get more. I have to go to the store for dish soap anyway, might as well get some cookie dough too.
I can't explain why suddenly I am hooked on slice and bake chocolate chip cookies again, after not looking at them for literally years. I have twice now picked up a tube (the nestle are 10000x better than the pilsbury, by the way) and brought it home and opened it up and scooped out just a little to nibble raw (it's ok, they pasturize the shit out of that stuff) and then made the rest into tiny little very crispy cookies, which I keep in a tupperware on my counter. It's made me so happy to have them....I have to smile every time I go in the kitchen and remember they are there. I know I should be snacking on carrot sticks or something but carrot sticks don't really fill my heart with joy the way tiny little chocolate chip cookies do. And believe me, mister....I'm in the joy business.
So, I just got a myspace bulletin from my FRIEND Sebatstian Bach, saying I should tune in to Celebrity Duets tonight on FOX for a special concert announcement. Oh, if he is coming to Pittsburgh I will be thrilled! My unbridled affection for Sebastian Bach is another thing I couldn't begin to explain, but I don't really feel the need. I'm wondering, though...is he actually ON Celebrity Duets? Could it be Sebastian Bach and Marie Osmond in the same room? That would be as mind shatteringly weird for me as the time Donny Osmond and Coolio were both on Celebrity Fear Factor. I take these things a little too personally sometimes.
OK, that's about all I can manage right now. Time to get myself brushed and clothed and off to work.

That's me in the dark on the back porch...smoking a secret cigarette (shh!) and waiting for the cabbage rolls to be done. Yep, after a super productive day of doing 5 loads of laundry, having a great meeting about a huge catering job for January, and scrubbing all kinds of gunk off the top of my stove so that it is bright and shiny white once again, and organizing the notes from the meeting into some kind of logical sense, rebby picked me up and took me to the grocery store and the beer store and then to her place, where she proceeded to make stuffed cabbage and pineapple apple crisp from her grandmother's recipe book. I made some sleek (not for the dinner, more because I felt bad that she missed it on brunch day) and we had a lovely dinner with mr bonello around the old farm table. Late in the evening when I was pretty tipsy from the Great Lakes beers and pretty high from the delicious food, mike regaled me with some tales from the book he is reading about the evidence of early pre-historic civilizations. I had a really hard time remembering the words to Atlantis by Donovan, but I was pretty sure he hinted at the fact that antarctica was where atlantis was. I should look it up.
Anyway, today was a good day too. I made a lot of things at the restaurant that needed to be made, and I did a major highly irritating cleaning project. Let me just say this...the things that accumulate in the tracks of the sliding doors to a reach in cooler do not resemble in any way the things that are actually STORED in the reach in cooler. There is some sort of transmutation going on.
Now, let me say this.....gravity punks is very similar to a dead at 24 song. I'm not sure what it's called. Maybe that was on purpose.

Hello, new obsession!
ShabooShabah, The Swing, and Listen Like Theives are on their way to me now. All three for less than $10.00. I heart Amazon Marketplace.


What is the name to call
For a different kind of girl
Who knows the feelings
But never the words

To look at you
And never speak
Is so good
For me tonite
To look at you
And never speak
Is so good
For me tonite
What is the name to call
For a different kind of girl
Who knows the feelings
But never the words

Who do you ask when there's no one
Left to turn to
You ask me and I'll always try to hear
Past money and colours and make believe
Good cheap values for a thrifty clown

To look at you
And never speak
Is so good
For me tonite
To look at you
And never speak
Is so good
For me tonite
To look at you
And never speak
Is so good
For me tonite
What is the name to call
For a different kind of girl
Who knows the feelings
But never the words

What do you fear in the simple
Still of a summer's nite
I understand I sympathize for a day dream
Fairytailes and I love you

What is the name to call
For a different kind of girl
Who knows the feelings
But never the words
To this . . . real life documentary

Fall is here!
I am so thrilled. Yesterday I wanted it to be more fall like than it was...but I made the most of it. We got out of the house at about 11am, and headed for Einsteins for bagel breakfast sandwiches and large coffees. Einsteins has taken to using inferior bacon on their sandwiches, I have to warn you. It might have been a fluke, but I was NOT happy. It used to be nice thick peppery bacon and now it's the same quick cooking stuff that everyone seems to be using. I am not at all in favor of this trend. The coffee is still excellent, though, and we filled up and then headed out for the flea market. We took the good directions from Mapquest that took us through Carnegie and got there quickly without having to panic that we were hopelessly lost. However, there was almost nothing going on at the flea market! I don't know if it was the fear of rain, or if the season has really passed, or what, but there were only about three booths outside and the booths inside didn't do much for me at all. I got a beautiful magic foil alien and dolphin picture (I'll take a cellphone pic of it so you can see how beautiful it is!) and two cans of Italian tuna packed in olive oil. That was a good score. The produce vendors were all pretty lame, so we decided to go to the farm stand we had found by accident the last time
we went to the flea market(the time with the terrible directions) It was definitely fall at the farm stand! They had corn stalks, and giant piles of pumpkins, and huge bushel baskets of apples, and CIDER. Yum. I got some cider for myself and some for my buddy, I got two dark honeybears for myself and for rebby, gorgeous plum tomatoes, a few pie pumpkins, and a basket of cubanelles. I held myself back from buying a pie. It was hard.
From there we headed back to 51 to hit the thrift stores. We went to Red White and Blue for the first time in a long time (we usually make the trek on Sunday when it's closed) and it was sort of hideous. So many people in there going absolutely nuts. I got a cart and made a beeline for the linens section, where I found THE PERFECT couch cover! It's a light sage green cotton bedspread with a really nice pattern woven into it. It's the perfect size, and it was on the 50% sale, so I got it for $2.50! Take that, overpriced hippies! I even got a seafoam green cotton blanket to go with it for another $2.50. AND, a new comforter cover! I was really rockin the sale linens. I also got a couple cute table lamps for the restaurant super cheap. I couldn't face the crowd in the clothing section, so I didn't even look. Just did a quick trip around housewares where there wasn't anything I REALLY wanted. So we beat it out of there.
Next stop was Goodwill, which was comparatively chill. They were having their 50% off green tags, so I took a twirl through the dresses, only looking at things with green tags. I ended up with three dresses, a cute orange paisley skirt, and a black half slip for $7.00. Woohoo! While in line, I saw the most amazing thing in the window...it was a toddler sized baby blue Elvis jumpsuit, complete with huge white lapels and a silver sequined belt. It was gorgeous. I should have grabbed it for my nephew, but by the time I saw it the line was huge. Still, it would have been only $2.00. I feel foolish that I didn't get it. Hopefully someone will put it to good use. They also had Knight Rider costumes, complete with David Hasselhoff wig. And talking communicator. If they had not been $14.99, we definitely would have gotten that too. You really never know when you are going to need a David Hasselhoff wig. I highly recommend a trip to the Rt 51 Goodwill if you are looking for Halloween costumes for yourselves or the toddlers in your life.
From there we headed to the Salvation Army Superstore. There was an awesome pair of paratrooper boots there which just happened to be a size in between Rebby and me. It was like Cinderella up in there...I tried in vain to shove my foot in, and she tried to make like there wasn't two inches of toeroom. Alas. I was hoping to get lucky in the housewares but it was not to be. I did find a set of shower curtain rings with REAL DIAMONDS (hee) though. They were only $1.99. Seriously, REAL DIAMONDS.
That was going to be all I got but then on a lark I tried on a beautiful wool mens suitjacket. It's been several years since I rocked a suitjacket, and I think it's time. It fits nicely and it seems warm. And it was $2.
That was the end of our thrifting odyssey. From there we stopped to get gas for $2.39 a gallon (seriously, I cannot believe that gas is ten cents cheaper on the other side of the mountain!) and then to McGinnis Sisters for the rest of the groceries for supper. I decided to make stuffed peppers with the cubanelles, so I got some ground beef and tomatoes and onions and garlic. And strawberry ice cream. Hee.
Headed home, stopping to drop off the cider for my buddy (you're welcome!) then brought up everything we could carry to the house. I got set to make supper, and rebby started to watch pee wee's big adventure which she had gotten for $1 at one of the stores. It was funny, maybe not as funny as I remember it. But basically I just couldn't get past the fact that it must have been one of the most expensive movies ever. SO many sets! So much crap on the sets! Of course, I'm sure it made back triple what it cost, but I was feeling very Marxist while watching it. How many people could have been fed with the cost of this film, etc. I tried not to be too much of a downer.
The peppers turned out fantastic! I am proud to be able to whip up a perfect stuffed pepper tomato sauce despite not having a drop of Italian or Hungarian blood in my body. We ate them over rice, and watched an adorable Jimmy Durante movie called The Great Rupert. It was a heartwarming tale in which the generous circus people win out over the stingy landlord. And also, there is a squirrel who dances in a kilt. Rebby got that for $1 too. She also got the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, but there was no way I was going to sit through that. For some reason my tolerance for kitsch is stretched to the breaking point by the teenage mutant ninja turtles. I did some computering while she watched it and then headed off to dreamland.
Luckily, no scary dreams! Woohoo! I got up and headed to the quiz where I made SLEEK. Food of the gods, for certain. I pitied everyone who did not order the sleek, which was most people. The apple raisin spice pancakes and soysage and peppers frittata were good too, though. It was a slowish brunch on account of the football, I think. That's the other thing that happens in the fall....people stop coming to brunch so they can watch football. It's all good.
After work I headed to the grocery store where I got the first pomegranate of the season. Now it is OFFICIALLY fall. I also bought myself a honeybun from the bakery, which is NOT an apple fritter no matter what kind of spin I put on it, but as close as I could get. Why can I not get an apple fritter, people? Is it really too much to ask? I guess I'll have to make them my damn self.

Happy Birthday, Mr Cave!

So, I was perusing the internet looking for just the right picture of Nick Cave to post for his birthday. I like to think of Nick Cave as having lots of spiky jet black hair, so my options were pretty limited. But in the process of looking for a good picture (I think this one is pretty good, but doesn't really show off the hair to it's fullest advantage) I was reminded that I used to have a CD of The Good Son.
But I don't anymore. Must have been a heroin heist casualty, as well as my copy of Let Love In. Sigh. I still have some stuff on album, and a couple of birthday party cassettes. But to suddenly be confronted with what I DON'T have anymore always makes me sad.

So, since Monday I've been up to sleeping a lot, working a lot, being a rockstar a little bit, and trying to sleep some more. Unfortunately, my sleeping efforts these days are being ambushed by a string of dreams in which some sort of bizarre fetishistic sexual predators want to carve me up. I am over that kind of dream, thank you very much. I wish silly stuff would happen again once in a while!
The show on Wednesday night was really amazing...the two out of town acts were so dreamlike that by the time we got onstage (we found out when we arrived that we were going on last) I was in some sort of fugue state. It was nice, but I hardly remember what went on. I hope if I ever get the chance to see Fence Kitchen again it will not be a schoolnight. It was a truly mindbending peformance, but I couldn't really relax into it because I still had to play, and because I still had to eat and it was edging toward 1am. By the time Rebby and I finished our bacon omlets at Jojos, it was 2:15. And I had to be at work at 7:30. Argh.
I'm still trying to catch up, and not very successfully. Right now, for example, I feel like I could just fall over into the bed and sleep for hours, but I have to be at work in 2 hours and there is still dishes and showering to do. The coffee isn't helping. Maybe I'll sneak in a little nap before work anyway...there's always tomorrow for the dishes....
Also on tomorrow's agenda...Flea Market mischief and hopefully a stop at a farm stand for cider and honey and maybe squashes. I really am feeling the lure of the winter squash these chilly fall days.

Let's hear it for not accomplising anything I set out to do today!
Wait, that's not true. I DID return my library book. And, I did get a lot of walking in. So much walking that by the time I was on my way home my dogs were BARKIN! It was good though.
So, instead of doing the laundry and getting a new cover for my couch, what did I get? Oh, dear reader...the motherlode of media under $1.00.
My first stop after the library was Qdoba for a burrito. It was okay...I should probably stop trying with that place because I am never REALLY pleased, but sometimes I just want trashy mexican. And they deliver.
Caught the bus to the southside and walked down to goodwill. I looked for a couch cover, but there was nothing suitable. So instead I got the Erasure video collection, and the following tapes: The Honeydrippers Vol 1, Mott the Hooples Greatest Hits, Tenement Symphony by Marc Almond, and.....Secrets of the Beehive by David Sylvian. Ha-CHA! The total came to under $7.00--oh! I got a couple of books too. A Year in Provence and another food memoir sort of thing called Let Them Eat Cake which I bought strictly because it had a recommendation by Marion Cunningham on the back, and I love that lady.
So I crossed the street and set about finding Urban Outfitters. On the way I passed H&M, so I went in there to see what all the fuss is about. Hmm. I guess I can see why my small friends like it. They have a lot of small stuff for cheap. I have to say that I am really not feelin this season's "looks" from what I could tell. I managed to keep all the sales staff at a distance by keeping my headphones on, and Lou Reed singing "White Light/White Heat" helped me keep my head together. I exited and walked on to Urban Outfitters, where I had a similar experience. They DID have couch covers, and they WERE on sale, but none of them really called out to me for the $$ they wanted. I could have bought one just to get one, but I didn't want to make that kind of investment on something I didn't love. So I wandered around there a bit....some cute stuff, but nothing I had to have. Thank god.
I walked across the street to Sur La Table...now, there is a store where I could get into some trouble. I had a little breakdown in the baking and cake decorating aisle...all the pretty colored sugar! The only thing I actually bought, though, is a real honest to goodness cocktail muddler. They had two different styles of cocktail muddlers. I got the cheaper one. The nice nice man behind the counter asked if I wanted to get their catalog in the mail and I felt almost like he was proposing to me. I tried to act appropriately to the situation though, and just said Yes please.
I managed to make it out of there, stopping to caress the orange le cruset tagines they had in the window display. So pretty.
I caught a bus to the other end of carson, and went right to the culture shop, where I was sure I could get a hippie tapestry for my couch for cheap.
Well, I was WRONG. They had the hippie tapestries, all right, but for $36. What?!?! Obviously, their market is not actual hippies. So I contented myself with only a bar of nag champa soap. Walked down to the Salvation Army, and was met with a similar lack of appropriate couch covering. I am now regretting not getting the purple sheet that I saw, which I think would have made at least a serviceable temporary couch covering. Oh well. It seemed like it might have been hard to find someone to ring me up anyway.
Walked on down the street and came upon Slacker, where I picked up the latest issue of Bitch magazine, and a really awesome little present for J*. Can't say what it is till I give it to her. Then I went next door to have a coffee at the Beehive which I always must do when I am in the southside.
Finally, I walked further down the road and came upon The Exchange. Now, I don't really expect much from the southside exchange since it is hipster central, but I did want to peruse the $1 Cds. I got Monster by REM and Southern Harmony and Musical Companion or whatever it's called by the Black Crowes. And then, for some reason I was drawn to the video selection, whereupon I came across The INXS video compilation for $1. ONE DOLLAR! For all the Michael Hutchence you could want! (well, not all technically--it ends with Suicide Blonde. But all the stuff from the REALLY good albums like ShabooShabah and the Swing and Listen Like Theives and Kick) OH man....I really had forgotten how influential he was on my personal style. I think I picked up my tendency toward arm dancing from him, and I KNOW I picked up my tendency to flash the peace sign from that one tiny little moment in "Need You Tonight". My favorite member of INXS was always Kirk, and still is, but there is no denying the absolute star power of Michael.
All in all, a good though completely unproductive day. Sometimes you just gotta have those.

OH happy day!
Last night's dream was way more surreal than disturbing. There was a scene where I had to shake excess flour off of the back of a giant stretched canvas onto an unmade bed.
Also, I was pressganged into becoming a board member of the gay and lesbian film festival, even though they met every night of the week at 10pm for four hours. I would hope that during that time I was able to sneek some Derek Jarman into the schedule!
I am currently making peppermint suntea and my whole livingroom smells minty fresh!
I am getting ready to head out for a long walk to the Oakland library to return my
book, then I am going to hop on a bus and go to the southside to bum around. I am planning to go look in the kind of stores I never look in, like Urban Outfitters, and also Goodwill. My main goal is to find a new couch covering, which could be something specially made to cover a couch, or a hippie tapestry, or an inoffensive bedspread. We'll see what presents itself.
I'm really excited to just wander a bit.
Band practice last night was wonderful. I am really happy about one new song in particular, and really happy in general about the ease of the three piece and the beauty of the practice place and just generally getting to pound on the drums again.
Speaking of drums, did I mention that Martin Atkins is my new myspace friend? And did I further mention that HE asked ME to be friends? I've been flying around for days in a tizzy about it. Martin is one of my great heroes. I would still run away to join Pigface in a heartbeat.

without you, it's not as much fun to pick up the pizza


I just laughed until I cried.

At the beginning, the dreams were entertaining. The one I wrote about before was a little sad, but mostly surreal enough that it outweighed the sadness. Then came one about having to crawl over a very tall pile of fancy bound volumes of classic literature which were suspended in a bottomless pool in the middle of an office building in order to get to work...that was surreal and funny. Then things started to go downhill with the one about running into an incapacitated Rob Halford in a hotel downtown...that one was just really sad, and I haven't been able to shake it three days later. Except then Friday night I had one where Ryan Roxie was hanging out at the quiet storm with his new band and new girlfriend, and we were very flirty best friends. That was a nice one, except there was this other subplot about a couple of friends who were going through a really nasty divorce having to teach children in the same room....that part was rough.
Then last night/this morning I started down the official nightmare route with a dream in which I was some sort of undercover agent spending a weekend with a couple of sexual psychopaths in order to try to prevent them from torturing and murdering a bunch of young girls. It was really awful, and I managed to wake myself up from it at about 5:30am, but then after peeing I didn't want to go back to sleep and chance falling back into it. Argh. I appreciate my imagination when it is surreal and funny---I don't appreciate it when it is sad and scary.
Other than all the dreaming, I've been trying to lay low and shake the disease(bonus points if you can identify that reference!) I was "off" on Thursday except for the fact that we were catering for American Shorts, so instead of staying in bed I made spinach feta puffs and fig-olive tapenade and walked to the party store for plates and walked to the storm to load up and then went to the reading with Jilly. I felt pretty okay all day, and it was SO WORTH IT to hear Mary Gaitskill read--she is just awesome. The other reader (I can't remember her name because I'm a jerk--she is the co-director of the Gist Street series) read some amazing work which I loved, except she read it in poet voice which I didn't love. Especially since it was actually not poetry but prose. The film by Martha Coburn (Spiders in Love) was really cool and trippy, and it was great to be in such a cool space for the event. Everyone raved about the food, and we chatted with Scott from East End Brewing which was nice. Took our turn in babysitting the obnoxiously drunk 63 year old woman who was hellbent on spoiling everyone's good time. She kept going on about how she is an artist, and I'm sure she's a sad and lonely person trying to make a connection, but her complete lack of self control was totally offputting. It was nice, though, that most of the people there, either connected with the event or just attending, sort of took a turn with her so no one had to deal with her alone. That's what community is all about.
After the reading I came home and watched a documentary about Pasolini which was extremely interesting. I tried to watch Derek's Edward the II but I fell asleep.
Friday Rebby took me out to eatnpark for breakfast and then we picked some things up at the grocery store and stopped in Heads Together. I found The Garden and War Requiem, and she found Gendernauts which is the Monika Treut documentary about transgender people we saw together years ago. We watched that and then I had to go to work.
Work was sort of sucky...everything was humming along just fine and then right at the very end I got a huge rush that put me in a bad mood. I seem to get awfully cranky on Friday nights anymore...I gotta try to change my attitude, I think. This was a huge crowd of Greensburg hippies and they all wanted veggie burgers. Argh.
Anyway, I had to re-prep everything, and then while I was cleaning they started to play their earnest/whiny hippie songs. Sheesh. I was so not into it. Finally I was done and rebby came to get me and tried to put it out of mind.
Saturday I felt a little sore throaty and sniffly again, and the coughing started. Dammit. We watched the shows and had breakfast and then headed out to the strip to do some leisurely shopping. It was really, really nice---haven't spent a morning in the strip in ages and though I was afraid of being annoyed by people, it was actually very pleasant. A couple times we had to veer off the sidewalk into the street, but that was no big deal. We got green chile and marinades and coffee and kale and ribs and baking supplies and soy sauce and tamarind candy and sausages and chocolate covered pretzel sticks. We also had delicious coffees in the leaf and bean coffeehouse, which made me instantly jealous. The place is SO CHILL, and it sort of feels like you are at the beach even though it's in a garage on a side street in the strip. I love all the mismatched tables and chairs and the junk hanging on the walls and the handdrawn signs and the jazz combo playing in the corner. That's the kind of coffeehouse I aspire to...one where I can imagine people actually sitting around and fomenting revolution.
The shopping tired me out and brought the coughing to a fore. Dammit. I spent the rest of the afternoon doing laundry and making Portuguese Kale Soup. Also, watching Muppets From Space and The Garden, which is definitely the most surreal Jarman film I've seen so far, and possibly my favorite. It looks a little bit dated, like a late 80s music video, but there are some amazing images in it. I'll have to watch it again when I am less distracted. We popped open a bottle of shiraz to have with the soup when it was done....oh my. So good. I have been sort of obsessed with this soup since reading Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain..I've made vegan versions at the restaurant without the sausage but I wanted to try it all the way. Dang, that's good stuff, and I felt really good while eating it and for a while after. But, the cough and stuffy head came back, and I ended up conking out pretty early. We had been invited to two separate parties and I really wanted to make it to both of them...but there was just no way I was going to make it out of the house again.
And so, here I am, about to get ready to go to make the brunch, and then band practice. With a stuffy head and slight sore throat and occasional old man cough.
The good thing about prolonged illness is it completely kills my desire to smoke, though. I had about half of a cigarette friday night after the sucky kitchen shift but I didn't enjoy it at all. Let's see if it sticks this time.

Nyquil/Fever Dream

Marc Bolan did not die in a firey car wreck, but rather grew to be an old meth addict in a tiny apartment in Boston. Also, he was my dad. News came of his death and my sister and I had to go to the apartment and clear it out. I was taken to Boston by my high school boyfriend in a very yellow SUV (I am thinking this detail came from the song I heard on the radio today about the mom who wishes it was still 1985---is that Weezer?) We got to the apartment and it was totally trashed, but we picked through things and kept coming up with little gems like handwritten lyrics to "Jeepster" and tattered boas...it was really heartbreaking. Somehow we had been totally estranged because of the drugs and although I knew he was my dad I was approaching the endeavor as if he was just a pop star I admired. My sister got too upset ran out crying. Rich and I finished going through the things and then we got in the yellow SUV to try to find her. It was a rainy night in Boston, and we drove around all the different squares looking in all the places I thought she might be.
Eventually, we ended up at Ani Difranco's restaurant (the name was plastered really big on the outside, and it was something totally incongruous, but I can't remember it now) I jumped out of the SUV convinced that my sister would be there. I made my way through the crowd with tears streaming down my face, and finally came upon Ani. She was sort of rude to me, challenging me about crying in her restaurant. She was talking about how there were people all over the world starving and in pain and what did I have to be so upset about? So I told her that my father Marc Bolan had just overdosed and I had just been cleaning out his shabby little apartment. That shut her up.
Didn't find my sister, so I went back outside and Rich nearly ran me over with the yellow SUV. I got in and he hugged me and told me he was so glad we were going to spend the night in a hotel...not for the sex, but for some other reason that I now can't remember. I just remember that he made a big deal out of the fact that it was NOT sex he was looking forward to. Hmm.


I sure do love the nyquil/fever dreams!

So, I posted up some pictures from the radio show on flickr, along with a little bit of commentary. I'll probably write some more commentary on the anita fix myspace (www.myspace.com/anitafixandbambam) It really was a good time, and apparently it sounded pretty good although the drums were sometimes lost in the mix. I certainly don't make it easy for people, so I don't mind. I kinda prefer ambient drumming for the most part, anyway.

Finally...Rockstar. I guess I somehow knew they were going to make the wrong choice all along, but when it actually happened I was still in shock and a little angry. I think it is interesting that Jason didn't say ANYTHING....wonder if he was dissenting? All in all, I'm glad it's over. If they had made the right choice, I might have considered trying to go and see them (especially if Storm is going to tour with the house band) But now I don't have to worry about that.

Dear pals--
I am ickyickyick. It's one of those icks where I am mostly FUNCTIONAL, (ie, can't really justify not going to work) but very listless and achy. It's centered in my head and throat and makes me cross. When I don't HAVE to be upright, I much prefer being in bed.
Which is why I am not writing about the radio show, or various other topics I have something to say about.
It will have to wait until I feel like sitting in a chair and thinking for more than 20 minutes at a time.

Surprise--I had band practice today!
It was a surprise for me, seriously. On Friday I was sitting around the storm after my shift and thought I had better call Al to see what was going on with the show on Oct 6th. (we are slated to play for the Quiet Storm's 5th Anniversary Weekend) When he called me back, he said he was just about to call me because he had a gig on the radio (Advanced Calculus on WRCT 88.3 FM) on Monday and wanted me to play if I was up for it. How bout them apples? So we arranged a practice for today, and ended up going to Colin's beautiful place in Morningside. He has this gorgeous balcony off his basement bedroom that hangs over the trees looking onto the river. (I think it's the Ohio? The one that Butler street runs along) If I lived there I swear I would never leave my house. It was like being on vacation just sitting there!
So we had a 3 hour practice (an intimate 3 piece version of AFix and Bambam, for now at least) including a lot of the songs we played for our shows last year, a few new ones that are REALLY astonishingly good, and a few from waaaaay back in the Dead at 24 days. I think it's gonna be fun!
And surprise again...there are four more shows booked for the next two months! Luckily Anita Fix is sort of like Nine Inch Nails...it really just means Alan and whoever he ends up bringing along. I hope to make most of the shows because I really love playing, and miss it like crazy. But if I don't, it's not a big deal.
There should be copies of our live CD Sam recorded at the Brillobox last year ready for the later October shows. I'm kinda excited to become a rock chick again!
So I am currently eating a Chef Boyardee pizza that I made from a box. Two different times during practice someone mentioned pizza, and I knew I just had to have it. On the ride home, somehow it became just having to have Chef Boyardee pizza from a box. It's one of my odder cravings, up there with McDonalds cheeseburgers. Oh, and LaChoy chinese food in a can. Some kind of primal trailerpark memory, I guess. Anyway the Chef Boyardee pizza in a box was more expensive than I expected---almost $7 by the time I bought the box and the pepperoni for the top. (it was $4 something for just the cheese pizza, but it is "family size" so about the size of an extra large from the pizza parlor) More importantly though...it is exactly what I wanted. That feels great.
Other than pounding the pagan skins in a secret villa in Morningside and making trailer park pizza, I have been working a lot and when I am not working I am either reading Derek Jarman books or watching Derek Jarman movies. The latest was The Last of England. I have watched it all the way through twice, most of the way through a third time, and I am still coming to grips with it. It's a stunningly beautiful and powerful and emotional film...without any real story or dialogue or plot or all that stuff. It's a barrage of intense images, shot on Super 8 then transferred to video for editing, and then transferred again to 35mm. Then again, to DVD. There were certainly some parts where I was giving him a wide berth because he is Derek Jarman and not some pretentious film student, even though the images look like something a pretentious film student might do. However, there are also several places where I was absolutely startled by the beauty and power of an image...often times something that lasts only for a few seconds. Then there is the penultimate sequence of Tilda dancing in her wedding dress around a fire while a frightening Diamanda Galas vocal piece plays..it's really spooky. And absolutely compelling. Let me just say this...if I was programming a gay film festival I would do everything in my power to have a Derek Jarman retrospective. His movies are AMAZING, and not enough people know about him.
OK, let me climb down off this soapbox and get ready to go out dancing at the Quiet Storm's new Bhangra/Dancehall party! A splendid time is guaranteed for all!

Cheers, Freddie!
It's 8:45 on the evening of your birthday and I have drunk a bottle of champagne in your honor. I also ate a deliciously decadent chocolate croissant. And smoked a bunch.

"When you're feeling down and your resistance is low, light another cigarette and let yourself go......"

I watched the Queen performance at Live Aid to celebrate your birthday, and it made me smile extra big after last night reading the story that your lover told about that day. You put on the show of your life for him, didn't ya?

So, I kept on watching Live Aid, since I was drunk and didn't want to mess with getting up and changing things. David was fantastic...I had forgotten how great his "TVC15" was even though he couldn't remember some of the words. The Who was awesome....Pete was such a cutie!! I smiled at the memory of Sir Paul and Sir Bob and Sir Elton before any of them were sirs.
And then, I was reminded of this guy:



My god, was I in love with him. Not because I thought he was hot, or even so much about his music (though I am listening through it all now and loving every minute of it) I was in love with him because that day I first thought "this man is going to change the world." People talk a lot of crap on Bono, but the truth is...the man loves people. He wants to see people love each other. He wants to see the powerful people of the earth use their power to take care of those who don't have power. Or even food. I have been guilty of talking crap on Bono myself, but seeing the Live Aid performance reminded me that he is one of the truly great spirits on the planet, and that I once held the kind of idealism he still acts on to this very day.
I'm drunk, so I'm not being very articulate. But I am inspired to act. Thank you Bono.

Happy Birthday Freddie!

Today would have been Freddie Mercury's 60th birthday. People all over the world are having giant parties to celebrate in the style that Freddie would have liked. Not in Zanzibar(where he was born), though....the Muslims there have forced the party to be cancelled because they don't want Zanzibar linked with homosexuality. Pity.

I'll be celebrating with Curry Eggs at the Quiet Storm, then coming home to drink champagne and watch the glorious Live Aid performance. If you are at a loss to come up with a way to celebrate Freddie's birthday, take a look here.

If you would like to celebrate Freddie's birthday by doing a small part to finally halt the ridiculous disease that killed him, go here.

Hooray for the Screamies!

Here's a cameraphone pic I took at the 7 Shot Screamers show at the Pub on Friday. I think I had it set to "tungsten", though I'm not sure what that means. I was well into my third Beck's Dark by that point and I can't really remember what I thought I was doing. I took 25 pics ranging from somewhat clear to arty to what the hell? I'll post some of the others on flickr.
The show was fantastic..they played a couple of my favorites (Vampire, Live Fast Die Young, Keep The Flame Alive) and of course, Ballroom Blitz. The crowd was not too crazy, unfortunately. Rockabilly people, for all their dressing outrageously and driving of fast cars and motorbikes, are not any more likely to have a good time than goth people. Rebby and I rocked out in front though. I think the show was so wild last time because there was an equal mix of rockabilly people and punk people...this time it was pretty uniformly rockabilly and the punk people who were there mostly lurked in the back. I didn't really talk to the screamers because I had not heard anything from them prior to the show, even though I had volunteered to hang posters for them and they had said they would send some to me. At a certain point one starts to feel like a nag, and I didn't want to hear any lame apologies or any promises that they would come to the restaurant that they wouldn't be able to keep. It's a personal problem, I think. Anyway, I did talk to Mike a bit after the show and get the new CD (file under: AWESOME!!!!) and a bandana. Chris has grown some unfortunate facial hair and was wearing an old man hat that made him look like, in rebby's words, "an 80s movie street performer." I thought that was a pretty funny and apt description. I chatted a bit with Bobby Lamonde which was really nice..he gave me the good news that his new Sci Fi Idols will be playing at the Pub with the Genders in November. Hoorah!
Before the awesome show I had a shitty night at work. I was feeling kinda crappy, and trying not to smoke (though I did end up having approx 5 cigarettes by the time Friday was done), and the baristas who were working were arguing like siblings, and the art show crowd was lame, and the band crowd was lame, and everyone kept ordering things I hate to make, and I was just a cranky pants. Once I got to the Pub I perked up though and now it is hard for me to conjure up exactly why I was so cranky.
Oh! It might have something to do with hormones. I got a little hormonal surprise on Saturday.
Saturday I managed to lay in bed until 8am! I got up with a little bit of a headache and dealt with the hormonal surprise, and was pleased to see that PBS was showing my shows FINALLY after something like 4 weeks of telethon crap. So we watched shows and ate waffles and bacon and drank coffee, and sat around on the couch all day watching movies. It was a great rainy laying around kinda day. I didn't smoke any cigarettes at all! I actually left the house around 6 to get some vegetables and tampons, and then came home and made a kick ass stirfry for dinner. We tried to watch Plan 9 From Outerspace on the TV late at night, but fell asleep on the couch. Hee.
This morning I was up early and bouncing around. I organized almost all of my catering papers (it got too boring about 80% of the way through, but I'm sure I can finish it off quickly on another day) and answered some emails and washed the kitchen and bathroom rugs. Gotta get geared up now for another dinner shift...hopefully I can be in a better mood this time! I've smoked two little cigarettes today, and I have a very little bit of handrolly left. We'll see how it goes.

Today's the day....Quit Smoking Day. I have one cigarette left in the pack I bought yesterday, which I may ceremoniously smoke to kick off my quitting. Or maybe not, as I am being aided in my quitting by the fact that I got the beginnings of a nasty headcold last evening. It crept up gradually, but is now starting to settle in for the long haul. Dammit. I drank a cup of nyquill knock off and went to bed at 9:30 last night and it seemed to help....but it's creeping back. I'll have to pump myself full of drugs because one of our cooks is on vacation this week so I'll be putting in lots of extra time. Dammit.
Speaking of putting in lots of extra time, yesterday I was at the Storm for 11 hours.
I did my regular breakfast shift, then the beginning of lunch so Leslie could shop. I tallied slips and made cream cheeses and artichoke dip for the catering job. I did a lot of straightening and cleaning and my favorite kitchen task of combining two containers of the same thing into one. It is unbelievable how often I end up doing this. But it's alright....as it is my daily obsession I know that it will get done almost every day. I cut 12 pounds of tofu into planks for the chicken fried tofu for 48 I will be making this evening. I arranged the dip platter for the catering pick up. Then I got to work programming the new register. It was slightly challenging but mostly fun. I had missed tinkering with machines. It used to be one of my favorite parts of bookstore world.
I had to talk to the annoying guy picking up the catering job....he is one of those people who asks for your advice about something and then tells you what they have already decided they are going to do. Argh. It's amazing how often this happens in catering. But, I figure, once I hand you the food and you hand me the money it's up to you. Just don't ask me my opinion if you have no intention of even listening to it.
I received two of my three amazon marketplace purchases yesterday...At Your Own Risk, which is a collection of Derek Jarman's journals dealing mostly with being gay and AIDS, and small deadly space, which is the album by Fight that deals somewhat with AIDS as well. So now, I feel like I am living in a
Team America song. The Jarman book is completely amazing....I'm learning a lot about the struggle for gay rights in England which is something I had never thought too much about. I guess I had always assumed, since gay jokes are such a huge part of British humor, that it was somewhat tolerated over there. Apparently, though it was absolutely prevalent in all facets of society, there has always been sort of brutal institutional prejudice. Society is fascinating to me, even when it sucks.
This album is really good too....Rob is using the same sort of voice he did on Painkiller, which isn't really my favorite voice. There are great lyrics and there's a beautiful love song at the end that made me cry last night. I'm a sucka.