You say you hungry, I give you meat
Ha! That's a line from the oh so dirty Queen song "Get Down Make Love", which was covered to great effect by Trent Reznor and Al Jourgenssen from Ministry. I spent $6 on a ridiculous "non album tracks and remixes" CD just for this song. It's a great version, and totally worth $6 to me. The rest of it is pretty much just remixes which don't interest me all that much. But I've already gotten my $6 worth of listening to this awesome song!
Also, that line is a good way to introduce my Thanksgiving story. Jeffy and I went to the new Giant Eagle Market District Shopping Wonderland(which will have it's own post in just a minute)on Tuesday night and bought all kinds of the usual Thanksgiving stuff. Then Wednesday night I packed a bunch of crap up (all my plates! all my forks! lots of spices! all my booze! lots of videos!) and Thursday morning after a false start due to late night public drunkenness, Jeffy came to get me and we arranged everything and got to work. The turkey was freakin huge. It is traditionally his job to pull the gut bag out of the neck hole(we're going to send that in for a song idea for Trent's new album!), but although he got the neck out, he couldn't find the gut bag. So I bravely dove in to the turkey and retrieved said gut bag. I've gotten over a lot of my turkey squeamishness finally. I washed that bastard and rubbed butter and salt all over it, and Jeffy cut up a bunch of vegetables to stuff inside. I pinned back the legs and the arms and put it in the pan and stuck it in the oven. Then whilst watching the Price Is Right I kept myself busy chopping things and getting stuff ready to cook. It all seemed a little haphazard but in the end everything worked out perfectly. I drank strong coffee from the alien mug and cracked my first black and tan at 11am! I maintained a lovely buzz all day alternating beer and coffee and lots of cigarette breaks. Around 1pm I got Jeffy to make me a bloody mary. Yum! Also, I smoked a bowl! Around 2pm I was feeling pretty spacey and thanksgiving-y and just about then Jim and his lovely lady showed up and it started to be a party. They brought halibut cheeks and a gorgeous and delicious pecan pie. I cooked steadily for the whole freakin day! I took a trip to the K-2 for more cigarettes and coca cola(insurance!) and also managed to find some Screamin Cheese, which was sadly lacking at the Market District Shopping Wonderland. So then we had Screamin Cheese on Ritz crackers and we didn't have to cancel thanksgiving.
When I walked out the door I heard what I thought was the door alarm going off, but I figured Jeffy could just punch in the code. Turns out, it was the smoke alarm. Which is connected to the security system, which is not turn-offable. The smoke alarm went off one more time for about 10 minutes and I swear Jeffy was just about ready to take the axe to that thing! But it finally stopped, and I did a little turkey re-arranging and we didn't have any other problems. It was pretty awful though while it was happening.
So: the spread. I made Phil's heart attack mashed potatoes(butter, sour cream AND cream cheese), smashed yams with brown sugar, spices, and marshmallow fluff on top, the ubiquitous green bean casserole, vegan stuffing, my special gingerfuckingriffic cranberry sauce, and a hominy kale and tomato dish. Chris and his lovely wife brought a delicious salad and stewed greens with hamhocks, and Dan and his lovely wife brought a delicious pumpkin rice and sausage casserole with swiss cheese. Sam brought beer, Greg also brought beer. Other people came and brought more booze. I think by the time we actually sat down to dinner there were 13 of us? I can't quite remember!(by that time I had opened up the vampire merlot. Eegods!)
I had to remind Jeffy about the crescent rolls at least 11 times, just like every year. In the end Jeffy and Jim made all four tubes of crescent rolls into one giant crescent roll hermaphrodite baby. Of course the middle didn't quite cook, but it was tasty nonetheless.
Then there was the half hour where I tried desperately to get people to stop watching Einsturzende Neubaten and start eating all the food. I had taken everything to the table, set it all up, and someone put the DVD on and it was so completely riveting that people could not get away. It sucked me in too...at one point everyone was continuing to mill around and Jeffy was not taking my pleas to carve the damn turkey seriously so I just sat down on the couch and lit an cigarette and watched Blixa for about 10 minutes. That shit is spellbinding. I HAVE to get that DVD. For my very own. But finally I screamed at Dan to turn the fucking thing off so we could eat, and he did.
The turkey was absolutely gorgeous. I have never seen a turkey such a beautiful golden brown color in my life. I kept taking pictures of it, it was so pretty. And it was GOOD too! Totally moist and flavorful. I always have low level turkey anxiety because I never feel like I really know what I am doing, but it always seems to come out perfect. But not always as pretty as this one was....Everything else was fantastic too and people kept complimenting me and building up my already giant ego. I loved it. We enjoyed out feast to the soothing sounds of Trout Mask Replica. The perfect Thanksgiving music. We discussed what Captain Beefheat albums might be appropriate for other holidays. It was blissful.
I ate one giant plate and listened to entertaining childhood stories, and then I took a second plate and could not stuff it all in. The mouth was willing but the stomach was weak, so I scraped my plate into a take out container and put it in the fridge. Then came the point where boys spontaneously started cleaning up, so I put on my coat and tophat and fuzzy scarf and mittens and took a walk to Jilly's to check out their status.
Everyone there was rosy cheeked, stoned on whiskey and food and whathaveyou, listening to Jonathan Richman and being warm and happy. I arrived just in time to get a piece of the fanfuckintastic pumpkin roll. Holy wow. I stayed for about an hour and soaked up the mellow vibe, then headed back down the street for the Thanksgiving ritual of Urgh a Music War. Doug and Roman had arrived while I was gone, and it was fun to see them. Jeffy and I put on the Urgh and started putting all the food away. Soon people filtered back into the TV room and I got a seat on the floor with a ginger ale and my cigs and enjoyed my favorite holiday movie. Seems like every year the crowd is just a little different, and it's great to be able to experience people's first time seeing Klaus Nomi and Gary Newman in his little golf cart.
After the movie there was some quiet talk and milling around and finally Dan and Beth brought me home around midnight. Whew! I had the happiest sleepiest buzz and I cranked up the heat and went to bed. So lovely. Woke up early with a headache, but after some pepsi and motrin I went back to sleep for another couple of blissful hours. A happy happy holiday, indeed. Now I have to go back to the scene of the crime to get my dishes and my leftovers.
Ha! That's a line from the oh so dirty Queen song "Get Down Make Love", which was covered to great effect by Trent Reznor and Al Jourgenssen from Ministry. I spent $6 on a ridiculous "non album tracks and remixes" CD just for this song. It's a great version, and totally worth $6 to me. The rest of it is pretty much just remixes which don't interest me all that much. But I've already gotten my $6 worth of listening to this awesome song!
Also, that line is a good way to introduce my Thanksgiving story. Jeffy and I went to the new Giant Eagle Market District Shopping Wonderland(which will have it's own post in just a minute)on Tuesday night and bought all kinds of the usual Thanksgiving stuff. Then Wednesday night I packed a bunch of crap up (all my plates! all my forks! lots of spices! all my booze! lots of videos!) and Thursday morning after a false start due to late night public drunkenness, Jeffy came to get me and we arranged everything and got to work. The turkey was freakin huge. It is traditionally his job to pull the gut bag out of the neck hole(we're going to send that in for a song idea for Trent's new album!), but although he got the neck out, he couldn't find the gut bag. So I bravely dove in to the turkey and retrieved said gut bag. I've gotten over a lot of my turkey squeamishness finally. I washed that bastard and rubbed butter and salt all over it, and Jeffy cut up a bunch of vegetables to stuff inside. I pinned back the legs and the arms and put it in the pan and stuck it in the oven. Then whilst watching the Price Is Right I kept myself busy chopping things and getting stuff ready to cook. It all seemed a little haphazard but in the end everything worked out perfectly. I drank strong coffee from the alien mug and cracked my first black and tan at 11am! I maintained a lovely buzz all day alternating beer and coffee and lots of cigarette breaks. Around 1pm I got Jeffy to make me a bloody mary. Yum! Also, I smoked a bowl! Around 2pm I was feeling pretty spacey and thanksgiving-y and just about then Jim and his lovely lady showed up and it started to be a party. They brought halibut cheeks and a gorgeous and delicious pecan pie. I cooked steadily for the whole freakin day! I took a trip to the K-2 for more cigarettes and coca cola(insurance!) and also managed to find some Screamin Cheese, which was sadly lacking at the Market District Shopping Wonderland. So then we had Screamin Cheese on Ritz crackers and we didn't have to cancel thanksgiving.
When I walked out the door I heard what I thought was the door alarm going off, but I figured Jeffy could just punch in the code. Turns out, it was the smoke alarm. Which is connected to the security system, which is not turn-offable. The smoke alarm went off one more time for about 10 minutes and I swear Jeffy was just about ready to take the axe to that thing! But it finally stopped, and I did a little turkey re-arranging and we didn't have any other problems. It was pretty awful though while it was happening.
So: the spread. I made Phil's heart attack mashed potatoes(butter, sour cream AND cream cheese), smashed yams with brown sugar, spices, and marshmallow fluff on top, the ubiquitous green bean casserole, vegan stuffing, my special gingerfuckingriffic cranberry sauce, and a hominy kale and tomato dish. Chris and his lovely wife brought a delicious salad and stewed greens with hamhocks, and Dan and his lovely wife brought a delicious pumpkin rice and sausage casserole with swiss cheese. Sam brought beer, Greg also brought beer. Other people came and brought more booze. I think by the time we actually sat down to dinner there were 13 of us? I can't quite remember!(by that time I had opened up the vampire merlot. Eegods!)
I had to remind Jeffy about the crescent rolls at least 11 times, just like every year. In the end Jeffy and Jim made all four tubes of crescent rolls into one giant crescent roll hermaphrodite baby. Of course the middle didn't quite cook, but it was tasty nonetheless.
Then there was the half hour where I tried desperately to get people to stop watching Einsturzende Neubaten and start eating all the food. I had taken everything to the table, set it all up, and someone put the DVD on and it was so completely riveting that people could not get away. It sucked me in too...at one point everyone was continuing to mill around and Jeffy was not taking my pleas to carve the damn turkey seriously so I just sat down on the couch and lit an cigarette and watched Blixa for about 10 minutes. That shit is spellbinding. I HAVE to get that DVD. For my very own. But finally I screamed at Dan to turn the fucking thing off so we could eat, and he did.
The turkey was absolutely gorgeous. I have never seen a turkey such a beautiful golden brown color in my life. I kept taking pictures of it, it was so pretty. And it was GOOD too! Totally moist and flavorful. I always have low level turkey anxiety because I never feel like I really know what I am doing, but it always seems to come out perfect. But not always as pretty as this one was....Everything else was fantastic too and people kept complimenting me and building up my already giant ego. I loved it. We enjoyed out feast to the soothing sounds of Trout Mask Replica. The perfect Thanksgiving music. We discussed what Captain Beefheat albums might be appropriate for other holidays. It was blissful.
I ate one giant plate and listened to entertaining childhood stories, and then I took a second plate and could not stuff it all in. The mouth was willing but the stomach was weak, so I scraped my plate into a take out container and put it in the fridge. Then came the point where boys spontaneously started cleaning up, so I put on my coat and tophat and fuzzy scarf and mittens and took a walk to Jilly's to check out their status.
Everyone there was rosy cheeked, stoned on whiskey and food and whathaveyou, listening to Jonathan Richman and being warm and happy. I arrived just in time to get a piece of the fanfuckintastic pumpkin roll. Holy wow. I stayed for about an hour and soaked up the mellow vibe, then headed back down the street for the Thanksgiving ritual of Urgh a Music War. Doug and Roman had arrived while I was gone, and it was fun to see them. Jeffy and I put on the Urgh and started putting all the food away. Soon people filtered back into the TV room and I got a seat on the floor with a ginger ale and my cigs and enjoyed my favorite holiday movie. Seems like every year the crowd is just a little different, and it's great to be able to experience people's first time seeing Klaus Nomi and Gary Newman in his little golf cart.
After the movie there was some quiet talk and milling around and finally Dan and Beth brought me home around midnight. Whew! I had the happiest sleepiest buzz and I cranked up the heat and went to bed. So lovely. Woke up early with a headache, but after some pepsi and motrin I went back to sleep for another couple of blissful hours. A happy happy holiday, indeed. Now I have to go back to the scene of the crime to get my dishes and my leftovers.
posted by sheryl at 12:39 PM
1 Comments:
That Halber Mensch dvd is phenomenal! I never saw the full thing in the 80s so when I saw the DVD in the store earlier this year, I pretty much performed a dance of joy. :)
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